“There is considerable increased metabolic activity in the large mass at the base of the chest on the right. The approximate maximal SUV is 15.2.”
The words “considerable” and “large” are subjective, and should be replaced by more objective and helpful descriptors
The words “increased metabolic activity” can be replaced by “hypermetabolic.”
“Base of the chest” is vague and should be replaced by accurate anatomic descriptions to guide therapy.
The example sentence ends with 4 prepositional phrases: “in the”, “at the”, “of the” and “on the”. Many prepositional phrases are a red flag that the sentence needs to be restructured.
The example sentence does not specify the size of the mass, so i’ll make one up. A rewritten sentence might look something like:
“Hypermetabolic 6 cm right lower lobe mass showing max SUV of 15.2.”
The rewritten sentence is more concise, replacing two sentences (25 words) with only 11 words. But it’s also more precise and more complete. And I think more clear.